Yesterday I was in Barista ,sitting and sipping my coffee and reading my book. I happened to evesdrop on a conversation of a couple sitting on the next table.
The guy : "....it will happen sooner or later.It may take 1 yr,2 or 3 yrs but it will happen"
Woman: So will it be sooner or later
Guy:See I am very clear about it
Woman:Iam also clear about it. I have decided to stay happy no matter what. My husband is seeking a relationship outside home and thats not acceptable to me.
Ah...so they were breaking up.Seperating.Divorcing maybe.
There was a clinical precision with which they were talking about breaking up. Maybe this is the dénouement of happenings over months, fights,conversations they'd had so far.Somehow I sensed that the man was in a more powerful position. The woman was talking of now concentrating on her career and her life. Leaving behind the 'us' that socializes together.Talking of children and how for a daughter her father sets an example and how that affects all her future relationships. I felt the woman wanted to say more....screem at him,say you ruined by life and I hate you,your philandering etc etc....but she stopped herself .Maybe because she was in public but my hunch is because she wanted to put up a brave front and show that she was OK. I wish she could have told the guy that he was an asshole. The guy on the other hand seemed cold and cynical and seemed to be making sage like pronouncements "You have to be positive in life" WOW! what insight.
I sensed that by making her feel small he did not allow her to vent out.
There are two tactics that people apply.Either they make you feel like a goddess that you aren't ....."you are too good...I don't deserve you" OR they make you feel like a witch "Initailly I was bessotted with you .....then I saw that we were't compatible.You were too cynical and clingy"
The breed of men ! Why do they assume they have such power.
Then the man went on to discuss the finances and that she should apply for a debit card and that she would alsways find 75K in the account for spending. These guys were both doctors and well off I guess.
What struck me was the cavalier attitude the guy had. How he was sermonizing . She whould have gotten up ,slapped and told him to shut up .
Once they left another couple took their seat and I assume were living in happy domesticity. They were discussing a broken helmet and how it broke and how it needs to be fixed !Such mundane talk that I went back to my book.
I guess happy couples are those who discuss the mundane stuff with great involvement .Unhappy ones ignore each other or vociferously discuss themselves and life.
I keep thinking I want to be in a long term relationship.That at 27 I am 'not-so-young' anymore.But then I look at this stuff and I feel free. Freedom's the thing being a relationship,being married and having kids you don't have. Freedom to choose a career, to study, to travel etc.
Right now I can think of all indulging in a lot of stuff,I don't have these responsibilities .I guess what I miss of a relationship is the intimacy bit.
Well there's a price on everything.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
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